On being the Under Gardener

In our garden I am the under gardener. Kris found this term used in a now defunct gardening blog, Knit A Garden (thank you way back machine!) It gave us laugh in self recognition. It has always been my role. We never spoke about it. It just came out that way. I prepare beds. K plants them. I rake, hoe, and weed. K waters and harvests. K knows the names and habits of all the species and varieties that dwell in our 1/3rd acre. Anything requiring knowledge, expertise, and creativity is in her purview, anything that gets one's knees dirty is in mine. (This is not completely fair; K is not afraid of work in the garden, its just the brainwork is her exclusive domain.)

This is not at all a bad deal for me. On a weekend day I love having the sun on my back and dirt under my fingernails. After a week of manipulating symbols on a screen it is nice to be able to do real work and see concrete changes in a patch of ground. I enjoy that my part is simple, brutish, and repetitive.

This is a part of the polity of marriage or at least of our marriage. There has to be a way to make decisions. Everything cannot be done by common consent. Even when things are by common consent, in any given sphere one will have more interest or knowledge and tend to prevail. For us in the garden it is K.

We have visited gardens of friends or seen gardens on garden tours and have seen evidence of other political strategies at work. We have seen several yards where half the garden (usually the front) "belongs to" the wife and the other half the husband. Sometimes there is even a fence dividing them and a sign at the gate between. Sometimes the rule appears to be that the husband operates the machinery and the wife the hand tools. Sometimes the husband does the hardscape and the wife the plant life. Gardening couples that share equally in the decision making are pretty rare, at least in these parts.

- J

(Illustration is "Royal Gardener John Rose and King Charles II" by Hendrick Danckerts and is in the public domain. I found it on wiki commons.)